Hurdling 30

 It's about time I wrote about something. Its been a few days since I wrote my pledge and whilst I'm still doing a "soft initiation" of my goals, I'm actually starting to see benefits of an improved attitude. I thought I'd write it down as a short entry, just to remind myself that there will always be things to bring me down, but sticking to the pledge will always be beneficial. Firstly, if you're unaware, there's a man who used to present a car show on the BBC called Jeremy Clarkson, and this week, he wrote some pretty horrible words about a prominent female figure. I don't need to go into much detail; if you know, you know I don't need to repeat this, if you don't know, just search his name anywhere. Anyway, This story is the type that depresses me. Of course, the words aren't nice to read, but this isn't the main reason it induces depression in me. It's the fact that these things are not only allowed to happen in most cases, ...

 So this is the big one. My pledge to myself will be a written commitment to improving certain aspects of my life. I will use the information and promises written down here, to guide my life and habits for the next 6 months at least. After that, we will evaluate and adjust accordingly, but you'll see why I've put 6 months as the time limit later. Let's start with some of the negative influences in my life that I've identified. I say "identified" as if some of them weren't blindingly obvious and won't be to you too, but still here's what I found: My Job:  In late 2021, I was doing a lot of work on my project at work as the manager had just left. In my department, it was only me and him on a huge, multi-billion pound government project, so the product we're making is complex to say the least. I took on all but a few of his responsibilities, expecting some kind of recognition, at the very least. I thought I'd done the work well, but they ended...

Bit of a diversion from what I should be doing now, but my pledge is coming. I guess I'm doing well to integrate some of the changes I plan to bring in already, so I want to write about something on my mind currently instead. I am English, London born and bred, but by heritage, I am half Jamaican and half English (German descent). My skin, as you can imagine, is neither black nor white. I mention these things that shouldn't matter because once again, after a bad football result for England, I'm seeing horrible messages for the England team and England's best player last night, who happens to be very dark-skinned, suffered more racism, after his renowned experience last summer, after missing a penalty against Italy in the final of the European Championships. I am, of course, talking about Bukayo Saka. The boy is an absolute role model and generally a stand up human. This is what's most important about him, even before his footballing ability, but fortunately, he'...

It's taken me, perhaps, 14 days since having this idea, to garner the motivation to actually start this blog and now I'm stuck with how I start this. I'm hoping that anyone new to this blog will read this post first to really understand what I'm trying to do here. I guess we start with an introduction, but it will be one without names. I am starting this blog as I have recently reached a low that I thought would never enter my life again. Back in 2015, I was at university and slowly but surely careening towards an abyss of self-hate, depression and, in my own opinion, a failure in life. I was retaking my 1st year of university and I still hadn't learnt the lesson I needed to learn. I failed 3/6 units and you needed at least 5 passes to get through to second year. By this point, it was my third year at university, due to me needing to take a foundation year, because, surprise surprise, I didn't put my full effort in at A-Level. Now I look back, there's clearl...